I showed him my bush... on skype.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Two words: nipple clamps
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