in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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