Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
