can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
