yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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