i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
