At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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