let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
