does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
