what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
