Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
