the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
