I wannas sexs uuuuu
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
