Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
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