Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
