There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize
