Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
