Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
