Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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