You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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