Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
