hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
its not stalking. its research.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
