I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I want her autograph on my taint
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
