yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize