I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize