Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
