I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
