she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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