i think i have herpe
just one?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
