What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
