I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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