oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
