i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
