You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
