:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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