Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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