i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
