dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
