GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
