I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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