can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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