just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
