You made me cry and you don't even care
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize