I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Oh god it's open bar.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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