I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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