I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
