My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
