It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
