Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
