Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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