your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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