i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize