Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
