He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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