if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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