we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize