So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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