The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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