Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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