sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
