so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Still dying that you shit outside
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
