i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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