Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
