He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
