she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize