just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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