When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
