please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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