No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
