You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
