i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Randomize
