And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
foreskin is a definite game changer
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize